I am asking myself this question, ok fine, so what's next?
In my mind, in a r/ship, be it friendship, courtship, love, kinship, there must be a basic mutual trust and commitment. If there is no trust, it is very difficult to sustain. At least to my own opinion. I dunno about others.
There is no definite right or wrong in any matter, it's your own choice and you bear the consequences. That is simple. No argument. But, if the explanation is not substantial then how would you want to convince people to trust you.
Maybe to you, what you want is a person who is independent enough to take care of ownself. Dun give you any kind or any form of trouble and stress.
To me, what i want is a person who is always sensitive to my feelings. A person who can always give me assurance (be it a hug, some nice words).
What is next?
You change? I change? Both change? Both dun change? What if the things that you want are always absent in your current life? What would you do?
Many a times, i dunno what is next? What is next for me in life? What would i want to continue to achieve in life? There are too many question marks in my mind. Too many til i dunno which to tackle first. I only know 1 thing: Many a times, i hope when i go to sleep, i dun wake up the next day. And i have hoped for that many a times. I am not joking.
Bcoz i am starting to lose track what i want to do next. Maybe this is a form of avoidance. Maybe this is a form of self deceive mode. Maybe this is a form of denial. I am starting to lose myself. I dunno what i wana do next, or even what is next for me? Everything seemed destined and we shouldnt go against what's been arranged for you.
Maybe something that i am quite sure of is, I want to be back to my happy self. But i think i need time. Some more time. Maybe in front of you, you think that i am the usual me. Whatever. I dun love myself enough. I always make myself cry, make myself smile and laugh in front of people. I dun let people see me cry, see me sad. I always cry behind the scene. I want to pick myself up. I need to.
