ROM VS Customarily married

once u had signed your name against the Certificate of Marriage, you will be announced officially by the Judge of Peace that you n your partner are now husband & wife.. in front of the law, you are husband n wife.. but traditionally, you are still not.. this is just my point of view...

We have to admit, no matter how trendy we are, what era we are in now, the basic tradition values are innert.. 1 of my friend did ask me a question, which i dunno if i answered it correctly or not.. he asked me, if a frd has ROMed, but not yet hold tradition wedding ceremony, is he considered as married? in that moment, i dunno how to answer... my answer was rather stupid.. i told him, in front of the law, he is indeed married.. but not traditionally.. coz i think no matter what, we must still go through the whole ceremony b4 pronouncing as lawfully married... coz this person's wife is pregnant b4 they held the banquet.. n this guy told my frd that he is getting married..

for my point of view.. i have to admit that once ROMed, is considered as husband & wife definitely.. but do feel a bit awkward if haven hold banquet, haven gone through the whole ceremony, offer incense to deities n ancestors, offer tea to elders,is not FULLY considered as husband & wife.. but now, i can b a bit more firm to give a definition of the difference of a ROMed couple n a couple who had gone through the whole ceremony...

When a couple had ROMed, people will definitely not ask when they will plan for kids or relevant questions.. they would only ask when will they hold the banquet n stuff like this.. which means, after all, we still need to go through the whole process b4 ppl will REALLY regard u as husband & wife... otherwise, they won't ask such questions already, isn't it?

When a couple had gone through all the ceremony n things, they would ask, when r u going to have kids?? this is the time when they 'acknowledge' you as married couple.. coz in their mindset, u can only plan for kids when u r traditionally married... this is how i feel..

I felt proud that we got married n also ROM on the same day.. that we are pronounced to b husband & wife in front of all the people who r present for our banquet that evening... to me, ROMed is not considered as married... it's just in front of the law.. but to b frank, in the new era now, even if ROM n no banquet, people still feel that they are already husband & wife.. y bother so much? but be mindful, we are after all Chinese.. must still go with the tradition... we r trying to see if we can have a 'rat' member joining in the family this year.. at least we are customarily married.. dun have to bother abt the banquet or anything animore, coz we had already settled all of these customary events done in 1 day... n i am super proud to say, we are now HUSBAND & WIFE!

Our HDB flat

completely had no idea on how to do our new house.. coz it's simply too small to do anything..

hubby went to other flats to take a look on how they do the kitchen n etc.. he already had some ideas... so do I.. but we had not gone to any contractor yet.. n do not know the quotation n price of the renov... need to set a budget... hubby said may need to borrow money from FIL... we will see how it goes...

tmr morn b4 coming to work, we will make a trip down to the new flat again.. to discuss how we wana do our living room, kitchen n etc... so far,there will be people who will sponsoring us a fridge, washing machine, LCD TV... now gotta find more sponsors haha!!!

Collection of house keys

just a blink of an eye,we'll be going down to collect our house keys tomorrow! do look forward to take a real look of our new house... so tat we can discuss on how we wana do the flat...

well, it's an on-going process being married.. or getting married... when in courtship, ppl will keep asking when we r getting married... when announcing wana get married, ppl will ask when will go apply flat, where u hold your banquet etc... when married, ppl will ask when u wana start a real family etc... typical questions... but no doubt, it is inevitable to have these questioned.. bcoz me myself will also ask ppl who are married..

March need to go M'sia with MIL.. to thank the deities for providing a good date for us to get married.. n oso will ask for a date which is suitable to move house... really wish to be b4 June... i still have no idea on how i wana do the house.. dun wish to spend so much in renovating or re-doing some things in the house... as our flat is a premium flat,most of things r done, except for the kitchen n wall colours...

i may just wana do a simple kitchen.. coz less time to cook, but yet i want a neat kitchen,so that watever i need will b in the kitchen.. i cannot stand those necessities cannot b found in my house.. wall colours may do ourselves... ask hubby to paint.. his colleagues all volunteered to help paint.. he is warm welcomed and popular in the company, no choice.. still thinking what colour to have for the house.. but i told hubby we will need to go up to the flat, see the lightings during the day,then decide what colour to use... so that the house won't look so dark...

We r now at the another stage of life, married life... n today is exactly the 3rd week of marriage.. some things remained the same, n some not.. didn't feel too much of a difference actually.. but can feel that Bong cared more abt me now.. and as he said, bcoz now we r husband n wife...

Updates of my HDB flat

Friday went to HDB homepage n logged into my account... to my surprise, i saw the new notice in my page... we'll be going down to HDB to sign the lease of agreement on on 21st!!!!

i hurried informed hubby... coz we need to apply leave mah.. our apptment time is morn... FINALLY.... we also need to bring along our marriage cert to submit to HDB b4 signing the lease... wow,i'm looking forward to collect the keys n visit our new house!!!

MIL said, in march, during Good Friday, hubby n I will go with her back to M'sia, to thank the god for giving us the good dates for wedding n etc.. this time round with the 2 of us, i blif deities can sense our sincerity... MIL said, we'll also need to ask deities to provide us with a good date to move into the new house... hmmm,i hope the date can be b4 June.. so that we can go for our honeymoon!!!

Gu zhang knew about our date to collect the keys, n he will sponsor us a washing machine!!! 1 thing less to think about liao.... wow,i'm so excited!!!

my 2nd week into marriage

this is the 2nd week of our marriage.. from Miss to Mrs.. it seemed as if we were still a courting couple... didn't realised that actually our wedding was over 1 week ago..

There are several things that changed.. status of course.. had to address my boyfriend as hubby now.. had to address his parents as father n mother now.. had to stay with him.. etc etc..

I think it's bcoz we had been together for quite some time already, tats y we dun have the feeling of 'honeymoon period'.. i recalled when we 1st got together, we also didn't have the 'honeymoon period' too.. mayb bcoz we knew each other for far too long... 2008 is the 11th year we knew each other... but though we dun have the feeling of 'honeymoon', he took care of me still.. n mayb bcoz now we are husband n wife, he would pay more attention to me compared to the past...

talking about 'honeymoon', every1 asked when we are going for our honeymoon... due to my work, i can't take leave that easily... we discussed abt it, most prob will go in June... ideal place is Australia... If we really strike a lot of money, we would go England... haha...

Dun ask me when we r planning for kids!!! tats the scariest part when one gets married... we r still waiting for our flat, so after wedding banquet, our focus will b on flat 1st.. after the flat is settled, then will plan for kids....

it is part of the life journey... every1 asks questions in different stages... regarding on when we will plan for kids, it really has to depend on fate... let us just wait for the good news...