ROM VS Customarily married

once u had signed your name against the Certificate of Marriage, you will be announced officially by the Judge of Peace that you n your partner are now husband & wife.. in front of the law, you are husband n wife.. but traditionally, you are still not.. this is just my point of view...

We have to admit, no matter how trendy we are, what era we are in now, the basic tradition values are innert.. 1 of my friend did ask me a question, which i dunno if i answered it correctly or not.. he asked me, if a frd has ROMed, but not yet hold tradition wedding ceremony, is he considered as married? in that moment, i dunno how to answer... my answer was rather stupid.. i told him, in front of the law, he is indeed married.. but not traditionally.. coz i think no matter what, we must still go through the whole ceremony b4 pronouncing as lawfully married... coz this person's wife is pregnant b4 they held the banquet.. n this guy told my frd that he is getting married..

for my point of view.. i have to admit that once ROMed, is considered as husband & wife definitely.. but do feel a bit awkward if haven hold banquet, haven gone through the whole ceremony, offer incense to deities n ancestors, offer tea to elders,is not FULLY considered as husband & wife.. but now, i can b a bit more firm to give a definition of the difference of a ROMed couple n a couple who had gone through the whole ceremony...

When a couple had ROMed, people will definitely not ask when they will plan for kids or relevant questions.. they would only ask when will they hold the banquet n stuff like this.. which means, after all, we still need to go through the whole process b4 ppl will REALLY regard u as husband & wife... otherwise, they won't ask such questions already, isn't it?

When a couple had gone through all the ceremony n things, they would ask, when r u going to have kids?? this is the time when they 'acknowledge' you as married couple.. coz in their mindset, u can only plan for kids when u r traditionally married... this is how i feel..

I felt proud that we got married n also ROM on the same day.. that we are pronounced to b husband & wife in front of all the people who r present for our banquet that evening... to me, ROMed is not considered as married... it's just in front of the law.. but to b frank, in the new era now, even if ROM n no banquet, people still feel that they are already husband & wife.. y bother so much? but be mindful, we are after all Chinese.. must still go with the tradition... we r trying to see if we can have a 'rat' member joining in the family this year.. at least we are customarily married.. dun have to bother abt the banquet or anything animore, coz we had already settled all of these customary events done in 1 day... n i am super proud to say, we are now HUSBAND & WIFE!