Exploding soon....

had a long chat with hubby on the phone just now... not a very pleasant chat though... think i'm going to b sick soon...

many things changed our lives recently... the arrival of Jaden is a very enjoyable gift for us.. everything changed ever since Feb, til now, n of course the road ahead of us..

there r so many things which made me so unhappy, n yet hubby wasn't that supportive.. i admit i made him uncomfortable in this position.. i was so sad today that i really dun have the mood to carry out my work today.. my tears just went down naturally...

other elders in our family also knew abt my character n they knew tat this moment i'm very unhappy.. i had tried to think of other alternatives actually.. ya, every1 sees me as the bad person, a super bad witch who tries to make things worse.. isit all bcoz i dunno how to gain sympathy n act ke lian?? just bcoz i'm tougher, tats y i'm the bad guy in the show??

my tears went down today.. but not in front of them.. how i wish i can stay away from work really.. but i cannot.. then wat can i do?? i cannot see my precious as many hours as before.. i miss him so much that i always feel like crying whenever i leave the house, n letting him stay alone at home.. but as i said, wat can i do??

my bomb inside me is ready to explode.. n of course, it will hurt some people.. tat is y til now i didn't activate it.. but i dunno if i will erupt it or not... coz it's already not me, i'm not me.. the original me is i will sure activate the bomb n won't regard the casualties in the tragedy..

ask me to b more understanding n b more forgiving, but please.. do those ppl who agitate me respect me 1st??? if they dun, y should i respect them 1st then?? i'm going to explode soon.. i'm terribly upset n feeling super lousy now.. i just hope no 1 irritates me today, please give me some time to cool down.. please...